#php jokes

[teacup-captor]

I don't know if my favorite PHP function is "explode" or "or die"

[double-ended]

What' the poll¿

can't 2ee that la2t word, whatever iit ii2. and iif you mentiion iit two me agaiin ii'm goiing to make 2ure you joiin the voiice2 iin my head.

[defmaybe]

Lessons in PHP

12 Days of Christmas: Day 4, December 28th, 2024

Girl’s Generation/SNSD’s Kim Taeyeon x Male Reader

2k words

Christmas Masterlist

The clicking sounds of keyboards ring through the room. Students are doing their in-class assignments, while you’re struggling to solve the first problem on the sheet. How the fuck can your friends do this?

Fuck, this is hard. Your code repairs seem fruitless against the errors, so you raise your hand, hoping that one of the TAs will help you.

You look around, seeking for help, until you meet one of your TAs’ eyes.

Kim Taeyeon.

Fuck.

No, you’re not scared or intimidated by her, you’re just always perplexed by her otherworldly features. There are her sharp eyes, her perfectly sculpted nose, and that jawline that makes you almost drool. Every time she helps you with your code, you’re just unable to focus on the material because of the intoxicating perfume she wears. It’s as if she knows that it’s your weak point.

Taeyeon walks towards you with purpose, every step is confident. Her short skirt and tie sways with the movement. She looks straight at you, expressionless, until she reaches your desk.

“So.” Taeyeon starts the troubleshooting session. “What do we have here?”

“I–I can’t add the new values into the table, M–Miss Kim.”

She nods. “Okay, can you show it for me?”

You let the code work on itself, before typing your information into the boxes, press submit, and–

“Voila,” you mutter quietly. It doesn’t work. She seems to be amused by your attempt at cracking a joke.

“Alright, I’ll see what I can do.”

Despite her efforts, her attempts are also proven fruitless. The code just doesn’t seem to work how hard she tries, and you can feel that it’s starting to get on her nerves.

“I can just ask an AI for this, Miss Kim.”

She shoots you a surprised look. “AI? Yah! You won’t learn that way! Just–meet me after the class, alright? I’ll help you.”

“O–Okay, Miss Kim.” You’ll be late for lunch again.

—

The students are starting to leave the seats one by one, having finished their in-class assignment early. Then, there’s you, trying to fix your damn code, trying to learn. Still, it just won’t budge.

“Fuck.”

Finally, the bell rings. You pick up your laptop and walk towards Taeyeon, hoping to find some relief in her. She nods at you. 

“I’ll be there,” she says. She’s still helping Haewon with her code.

—

Taeyeon starts her debugging session. It’s particularly hard on PHP, because it won’t tell you where the mistake is. Fucking PHP.

As time goes by, you’re surprised that Taeyeon doesn’t seem to become stressed with the failed attempts. Hell, she even seems to be happier and happier, humming as she debugs the code! What is going on?

“You know, I think this is a delightful session–” she moves closer towards you. Her right arm touches yours, hands still on your keyboard “–we’re having.”

Her perfume fills your nostrils. It pervades your space violently. You’re starting to get hypnotized by it. Fuck, she smells good.

She moves in a little closer. Her hips press into yours. You can feel her body heat against your side. She types in a few letters. You hope it can finally make your code run. She reloads the page, dragging her fingers along your keyboard lazily before submitting the credentials.

“Whoops, seems like it doesn’t work~” says Taeyeon. There’s something in her voice, but back to your laptop first. Why won’t it work, and why does she sound so–

“Looks like we’re missing a few more things here.” She scoots her chair closer to you. It’s so uncomfortable, yet you don’t want to move away from her.

You’re revelling in this.

You watch as she types more letters into your screen—enter, shift, echo. She does it so elegantly, contradicting what every computer job is supposed to be.

She reloads the page again, typing in the information languidly. It’s as if she doesn’t want this to end.

It still doesn’t show up.

She shrugs, sighing at the disappointment on your screen. “Guess I’ll try again,” she says with a small smile.

You are starting to get restless. Her perfume is still invading your nostrils like crazy. You want to go to lunch so fucking bad, but you also don’t want to leave this smell of sensuality circling around her.

“Miss Kim, I–It’s fine, I’ll just–”

“No,” she commands, her voice stern. You jump slightly as she says that. “I won’t let my student go out of this room learning nothing.”

She presses into you even more. It’s starting to hurt now, yet you don’t have any intent to walk away from her, not when she smells so fucking good like this.

You hear a soft giggle from her. Is she enjoying the way she’s getting this close to you like this?

You scoot away from her a little, giving you and her some much-needed space. You can hear her sigh. Is it out of disappointment?

“Are you okay, M–Miss Kim?” you just have to ask. Can’t let your TA be uncomfortable after all.

She giggles. “Oh, I’m fine~ and please drop that name, mister,” she says with sultry. Her fingers draw an invisible line over your arm, hovering over it. Still, it makes you shiver.

“I like something more–” her hands are hovering on your shoulder now, and she’s pulling you in closer and closer, as if you’re magnetized “–intimate.”

Your breathing becomes shaky. Your hands tremble. Her scent becomes stronger and stronger as seconds go by. You’re lost in her.

“Wh–What’s more i–intimate, Miss Kim.”

She giggles, leaning in closer. Her breath touches your ear softly, and she whispers, “Call me mommy.”

You swallow hard. Being dominated by your TA isn’t exactly what you’ve been expecting today.

Her hands start to grope your pliant body. You respond to her touch strongly, sucking a sudden. She drags her hands down the front and back simultaneously, fully capturing you in her cage.

“Look at you, so–willing,” she says, letting out a giggle after. She reaches for your belt now, and she slowly unbuckles it adeptly. It comes off so easily, leaving you bare, unguarded. She then unbuttons your trousers. The edge of your boxers comes into view.

“Mommy will take your pants off, alright?” asks Taeyeon. You can only gulp and nod.

She pulls your zipper down gently, slowly revealing the tent under your boxers. Her eyes gleam, letting out a giggle.

“Ooh~ so excited for mommy, huh?”

You say nothing but a whimper. Your body quivers in unbridled anxiety, apprehensive of disappointing her. The tension is high. Taeyeon starts to grope your erection through the boxers, making your body quiver in pleasure.

She then climbs onto your lap, and your breath hitches. Your crotch makes contact with the wet spot on her panties. You can feel it. She’s wet.

She smiles and starts to grind her wetness on your crotch. She lets out a hum, clearly satisfied with her student’s reaction. You’re desperate for the friction she’s giving you. Your breathing quickens. You’re struggling to contain a moan any longer. It’s sickly sweet.

Taeyeon rests her arms on your shoulders, pulling you closer into her embrace. You’re completely captured by her—her face, her smell, all of her, and you’re revelling in the way she’s doing it.

“Y–You smell so good, mommy,” you utter, enraptured within her pungent aroma. Your mouth opens slightly, hoping to lean in for a kiss.

She chuckles. “That’s J’adore for you, baby.”

Taeyeon then parts her lips, just slightly. She leans in until her hot breath touches yours. It mingles in the air between you two, thickening with desire.

At the first touch of your lips, you feel shockwaves coursing through you. Her tongue touches yours, and you get to feel the soft flesh inside her mouth. You get a hint of strawberries remaining on her lips. Maybe she was in a rush this morning.

As you clash into each other, her tongue starts to invade your mouth recklessly, as if she’s trying to take as much of you as possible. She lets out one sweet hum after another. Her hands are still gripping onto the back of your neck. Wet sounds of the kiss ring through your ear. The sensation on your crotch remains. She’s grinding against you adeptly. She’s good at this.

The kiss deepens. Her taste of strawberries becomes too intense for you to handle, but she won’t let you go. Her hands start to glide down your willing body again, feeling your soft skin and muscles. You let out moans and moans in response.

“M–Mommy,” you rasp, muffled into the kiss. Her grinds quicken, stealing breaths out of your lungs. You are overwhelmed by the sensation of her clothed sex on you.

Her thighs tense up, her breathing quickens. She’s going to cum from grinding on your cock, fully clothed.

She unlatches herself from the kiss, leaving a string of saliva connecting you together. “Now, fuck, mommy’s going to cum, alright? Mmmm.” She bites her lip after she finishes her words, sucking in the air through her teeth. Fuck, that looks so hot.

“Y–Yes, mommy,” you reply. Your high is also coming. “I–I’m gonna cum too.”

Taeyeon giggles before grinding on your cock even faster, drawing stuttered moans out of you. Your loins tighten. You’re going to cum inside your pants!

Good thing you wear rather dark-colored pants today.

Her breathing becomes shorter and shorter. Her grip on your neck tightens. Her moans grow louder and louder. She’s cumming, and you’re all here to see it happen.

“Gonna cum, gonna cum, gonna cum, ahh!”

Her body spasms on top of you. Her eyes flutter. Her mouth hangs open. She screams, loud. She just came from grinding on your lap alone, and that couldn’t make you happier. She lets out a groan as her orgasm subsides, threading her fingers through your hair.

“Good boy,” she says with a smile, pressing her red, pouty lips on your forehead. That’s going to leave a mark.

The all-too-familiar feeling builds up inside your stomach. It seeps through your lower body muscles. Your feet twitch. Your thighs stiffen. It’s there. It’s there.

“M-Mommy, I’m gonna cum,” you utter. 

She smiles back at you, planting another kiss on your cheek. You’ll have to wash your face before going to lunch.

“Cum for me, baby.”

You grunt loudly. Maybe someone could’ve heard that. Your body writhes in bliss. You can feel your cock twitching inside your pants. Cum leaks out from the tip and paints the insides of your pants white. Some of it seeps out through your pants. It feels so good.

A giggle leaves Taeyeon’s lips. She’s loving the way her student breaks under her like this. “Good boy, good boy.” She runs her fingers through your hair lovingly, making you whimper a little.

Your orgasm finally fades. You pant in exhaustion after the sensual act. Your hands are still shaking. You just cum from dry humping with your TA!

“You okay?” she asks. You’re probably looking disheveled right now, all panting, chest heaving. “You look–scattered.”

“Y–Yeah, mom–uh–Miss Kim,” you stammer out. Your mind is in haywire right now. Should you still call her mommy?”

Taeyeon chuckles at your apprehension. She seems satisfied with her student being a mess like this.

“Oh, and about the code,” she suddenly says, snapping you back into reality. “We might have to make an arrangement at a later date.”

You blink, trying to connect the pieces back together. You were struggling with PHP, so you asked Miss Kim to help you with that. However, you got a dry humping session instead. The code is still unfinished.

“Y–Yeah, the code,” you respond, giving her a shy smile. “An arrangement, sure.”

“Maybe–this Saturday? I don’t have classes on that day.”

“Sure, Miss Kim.”

She gives you a smile, satisfied with your answer, before climbing off your spent body. “That settles it, then.”

You smile back at her before getting off the chair–

Fuck, you forgot to put your pants back up. Taeyeon giggles softly at your predicament.

“Oh, and–be prepared,” she says.

“Yes, Miss Kim?”

“It’s going to be a long session.”

—

[apolloanswers]

Thank you for posting the Yap poll! As someone who is Yapese I've seen a few comments referencing the "yapping" meme, and yeah that's a pretty common joke made when I tell people where I'm from but no we are a real place and a real culture

https://silversea-discover.imgix.net/2020/05/6.-Yapese-girl-performing-the-dance.jpg?auto=compress%2Cformat&ixlib=php-3.3.1

I hope people learnt something new, rather than just making the yapping jokes!

I'll be honest I Googled to make sure it was a real place as I had never heard of it before. I'm glad you were able to feel represented.

[kremlin]

I do computer work but it's not very hard and kind of boring. How do I get to do hard computer work? Do I have to go to grad school?

hi i tend to miss these because of slipshod ublock custom filters im too birdbrained to fix.

i worked for a large american technology company which sold business machines internationally for close to a decade until laid off in successful accounting fraud scheme a few years ago. started as developer, erm, pardon me, i started as

junior developer

which is a role similar to routinely-executed court jester and human meatwave conscript meant to soak up enemy bullets to cause exhaustion of enemy bullet supply and finally guy that comes in big gross truck with a pump and a tank and a big hose used to suck the shit+piss out of portable toilet/malfunctioning sewer etc. this is for when you are 20 years old or so and they hit you with this work to calm your ass down a bit. my case was cloud bullshit on ancient rickety php stack. 5% keystrokes/clicks are php, 95% remainder is jira and other members of the axis of evil. LOT of dick sucking and butt fucking. Going into men's bathroom and making eye contact with cubicle neighbor before entering stall and fearlessly making disgusting noises. microwaving fish lunch thrice daily. you get the idea. meager paycheck but six figures takehome technically

next is staff dev, wait, god damn fucking tumblr, you can't adjust fonts mid-paragraph, and Big Text is just another type of font, in case you wanted Big Specific font. fucking fuck hold on. next step is

staff developer

no effective change besides greatly increased workload (click those motherfucking jira buttons!! suffer coworker's asinine bad-faith code review comments that HE AND HE ALONE must manually accept your responses to, on HIS time, before you are allowed to click the jira buttons that start the human meat sausage factory to get your 20 line maximum change into an RC and then release and then push candidate and then prod push!! pay raise one thousand dollars annually (lol). Emails. Now you deal with project manager too. speculate as to what sorts of grievous head injuries that man must suffer daily to describe his logic. his job is like the guy from office space that brings documents from one desk to another but he randomly reorders the words on the page in-flight. make plausibly-deniable wife fucking jokes about his wife in earshot. you're almost at the top of the suffering function. next is, no fucking cute font this time, senior developer, sounds cool right, lol, lmao, "senior" "developer" is like "tallest" "midgit".

no pay increase no workload increase but now manager emails you about extremely, extremely personal issues he's facing and also makes his most difficult problems from his boss your problems. one week will pass and then they will hit you with the "we're considering you for a team lead position". answer:

NO

answer no as this is the prescribed path, you take that role, you are maxxed out in workload, you are dealing with forty employee's worth of bullshit, another one thousand dollarinos a year raise, employer has solved efficiency problem with your sanity and burnout as variables. you're supposed to quit or kill yourself within seconds of hitting 30 y/o. don't fall for tricks. say "NO" in a creative way such as "i have tabulated some data and made it into excel pie chart quantifying diff. departments work output and am considering sending it to whoever Dave is, the guy that is one or two or three report levels over your boss' head, you know, his boss' boss' boss or whatever. or say "you are harassing me sexually, racistly" that kind of shit. make threat clearly.

was worth mentioning before, throughout all of this make as many friends and as much of a splash for yourself as possible as its time to trade on that goodwill, tell your boss you want an open relationship and you're going to fuck and suck other managers, and then find the good one with the good team of old fucking geriatric guys who could never be fooled into working more than a reasonable amount daily and also can kill people with their minds since they have been sitting on the bleeding edge of computing since 1969. their boss will usually be, suspiciously, one report rank higher than everyone else. e.g. their boss has a whole other boss + his reports under him. usually small team. go to their boss, say, hi, look at me, look at my beautiful plumage and captivating mating dance, please hire me, pleassseee. his team will say no, they will say things like "I don't know about that kiddo", "That guy seems like a candy-ass", they will read your papers and look at you in the eyes and say it is not compelling, the boss will kind of hire you anyway. if he doesn't you're fucked. if he does you're now a

STAFF ENGINEER

for fifteen minutes and then

ADVISORY/SENIOR/SPECIAL ENGINEER

and the suffering is over. no code minimal jira + squad of gremlin zerglings under your boss whom you can rank-pull and delegate bullshit to, they will be mostly suckers, take advantage of this. 80% of keystrokes/clicks will be in production of beautiful wonderful lovely .docx and .xlsx's, what a godsend, only in an emergency are you allowed to fuck with your zergling's code, usually in a cool way with bullshit procedure removed.

i worked on high performance computing shit. "what the fuck do you mean 2PB or so in and out a day on flash memory", "what the fuck do you mean special infiniband intel MPI library on CD-R stored in Craig's filing cabinet???". Meetings with company people: webcams off, responses optional, snideness allowed. Meetings with client: you must have your dress shirt starched and white glove the shit out of those motherfuckers. timezones = skill issue. i don't care where germany is, i don't give a shit, wake up at 3am for a 20m meeting i take on the toilet or while eating a boiled lobster complete with cracker + lobster bib. customers countable on one hand, invoices to customers not countable with 32 bits. no fucking mistakes ever allowed except for like whitepaper drafts, you cannot fuck the pumpkin on this one, your actual job relies on your ability to hit a button and suck down a week's worth of compute and millions of dollars, boiling swimming pool's worth of TDP, one mistake that leads result data to being able to be characterized as flawed and your balls are getting ripped off. Quarterly IRL meetings = normiepilled normiemaxxing. Dress sharp. leave at 5pm on the dot, go to bar with Old Fucker coworkers, drink wrecklessly with them, have a blast, let them give you a tour of a lab you are absolutely 100% not allowed to be inside, buildings that have posted weight limits per sq. ft. exceeding 250lbs, such a blast. every paycheck a FORTUNE every dinner a banquet every meeting an email every keystroke life or death. you get to meet /lib/doug mofos too one of whom i wrote a very poor kind of poem thing about. thats about it. hope this helps

[kommandonuovidiavoli]

Just a lil thing since people have been saying it: Side B is not the only way our characters can interact!

If you have a story that centers on your own version of Sector V and its members and no OCs that can be on their own adventure, we can still interact!

"Universe Mixes" is the tag I use when characters interact outside the normal story! For example:

Various versions of Wallabee talking together at the same time? Universe Mixes!

OCs talking to Penny and somehow they're all still kids? Universe Mixes!

Your world Sector V somehow interacting with mine after a portal has mysteriously opened? Universe Mixes!

Anything that is not related to my story/your AU and our OCs interact keeping track of ages and years is Universe Mixes!

Some pics for examples:

These are Side B pics since the characters interact while minding of the right ages (kid or teens or adults). (in the pics: Irwin with Sector PHP by @artsygirl0315, Penny and Aiden by @kandykatz, and Penny and Gianna by @numbuh-72)

These are Universe Mixes since different versions of the same characters interact and have fun together or some characters interact with parallel universe ones! (In the pics: Hoagie and Wally by me and @spicedwatermel0n, various versions of Nigel from this post from various people, and an inside joke between me and @roguephenon I'm not gonna explain yet LMAO)

So yeah, I'm open to both honestly!

I love it when different universes collide because it's fascinating to see how different versions of the same character interact!

Also, love it when different timelines interact... should draw that more tbh.

That's all!

[hellsite-proteins]

Hello, not the person who sent the origonal ask, but, PHP is a programming language

It used to stand for "Personal HomePage", which was bad, but got changed to the recursive initialism "PHP: Hypertext Preprocessor", which is worse

Its mascot is a elephant

biochemists are bad at naming things, and once i heard someone joke that the day we run out of 3-letter acronyms we will simply have to stop studying biochem. i think this name may be worse than most – if not all – biochemistry acronyms.

letter sequence in this ask matching protein-coding amino acids:

HellntthepersnwhsenttherignalasktPHPisaprgramminglangageItsedtstandfrPersnalHmePagewhichwasadtgtchangedttherecrsiveinitialismPHPHypertetPreprcessrwhichiswrseItsmasctisaelephant

protein guy analysis:

there are some interesting attempts at secondary structure here. now of course, interesting doesn't mean good, and the confidence of this structure is consistently bad throughout, but they are weird to look at. there are a few half-hearted attempts at alpha helices that don't even make a full turn. much more exciting to see though is a beta sheet, even if it is small, since those are much more rare on this page. it does look weirdly squiggly, but since this isn't real anyways i think we can just decide that it adds some whimsy. finally, there is a long hydrophilic tail at the back of the image, which i think is about exactly as expected.

predicted protein structure:

[mrchalamet-mrstyles]

a good read about pr not being a thing and a cute photo of Tim + Kylie

https://www.pajiba.com/celebrities_are_better_than_you/the-myth-and-the-reality-of-the-pr-romance-conspiracy-.php

Truth is more boring than a classic red-string-on-the-wall conspiracy. The idea that two hot famous people might like one another and want to use their relationship for a bit of good press seems too calculating for fans who see their idols as reflections of their own moral worth. For some fans, it’s too nefarious to imagine their faves as having a calculating interest in their careers; they must be untainted innocents forced into the grime of Hollywood sleaze by a faceless evil known only as PR. The nuances of fame, love, and image maintenance can be curdled into something sinister even as their intentions seem utterly banal. A couple calling the paparazzi on themselves is not instant proof that their lives and feelings are fake. It’s just another symptom of the transactional nature of fame.

If I were smarter, I would do a PhD-level deep dive into the ‘celebrity conspiracy to QAnon’ pipeline, an area of culture that is sorely under-researched. For now, I just hope that we find ourselves more willing to call out tinhat nonsense when we see it instead of letting it fester as a pseudo-ironic joke until it’s too late to change tack. I’ll take boring over madness every time.

Thank you for this link, anon. A much-needed read by most of Tim's "fans". Friends and I have said for years now that the tinhatters and MAGA share scary parallels.

[shefanispeculator]

https://www.ctpost.com/entertainment/article/blake-shelton-mohegan-sun-ct-20222905.php?utm_campaign=CMS%20Sharing%20Tools%20(Premium)&utm_source=t.co&utm_medium=referral

Blake Shelton talks Mohegan Sun crowds, Gwen Stefani surprise appearances ahead of CT concert

“They want to be out there in the casino throwing dice and playing Wheel of Fortune," Blake Shelton joked ahead of his Mohegan Sun show.

And yes, Shelton knows attendees might be wondering if his fellow "The Voice" coach and wife, Gwen Stefani, will show up to do a song or two with him. This month, Stefani released a new song called "Still Gonna Love You."

“I don’t know what shows (Stefani is) coming to yet, but you can bet she’ll show up a time or two on the tour,” said the Grand Ole Opry member. “She came out on stage at the Vegas shows (held at The Colosseum at Caesars Palace) and blew the roof off the building. It’s hard to follow Gwen Stefani!”

[floragraph]

pregnancy when you have anorexia is no joke

unfortunately I think I am going to need to readmit to either an IOP or PHP hospital program… like, baby is totally fine but these changes to my body and the expectation that I need to gain 35 lbs in the next 6 months is putting me in a bad bad headspace.

case in point: a recent meltdown that my clothes no longer fit and a subsequent closet purge with new items purchased three sizes bigger. Which I conducted in tears, only to discover a few days later that my weight now is only 0.1 lb different from pre pregnancy. Like bitch!!!!!!! Your clothes were fine you are just a little cuckoo 😵‍💫😵‍💫

[numbuh-72]

Hi, Hello!!💙

Just passing by to leave a little question for Annaig (DNK), What are your thoughts or common interactions with Negative Sector PHP?

Possible Allies? Possible enemies? Rivalry?

(Hope you're doing great btw!!💙)

"Hehe! Well, well, well~ Looks like people are very interested in my interaction life~"

"Not to worry, because boy do I have a few choice of words for Negative Sector PHP~"

"Starting off with relyT, I just looove how I can be myself around this guy for the most part! Though I do kinda wish for certain times he grew a backbone...So, I decided to be his "Tough Coach" to try and man this guy up~"

"But I do make sure this dude takes one step at a time and take breaks when needed~"

(Relationship: Friend)

"Next up we got haimrerJ! Haha! Man I just enjoy being around this big boy to give him some entertainment while he's working on something~"

"He was still annoyed from that one time I was singing a shanty...but we both know well that he can't really work without a melody..or without me annoying him~"

"But in all seriousness, whenever he tends to struggle with his inventions, I do kindly give him assistance as...I guess you could say my way to make up from me being an idiot around him. With his inventions and my computer skills, his machines will work like a charm in no time!~"

(Relationship: Allies)

"Next up is navE!"

"Despite having this....bad aura sometimes...I could see him as a sparring partner whenever I wanna train my combat skills. Rest assured that after the match I provide a medkit at ready incase it got a bit...intense. We...are still trying to get along, but I see him as a gy I would love to cause some chaos with if he's that type of guy!"

(Relationship: Allies)

"Hmmm...next I believe would be ebeohP.."

"Now this girl, I did find interesting and hilarious because there have been times where if hanging out, she would ask for love advice. Of course, with me being in a poly as we speak, I gave her my ways of how I got my girls."

"Her reaction was priceless, haha!"

"Joke or not though, I did give her some legit advice since I could tell this one was a smart cookie a bit.~"

(Relationship: Friends)

"Last but not least....alleM."

"I will admit, meeting her face to face for the first time was definitely...different. We didn't really click at first...given the fact that after the fall of yllaW, she hid from the world. Given that reaction, I kinda felt the way she was feeling. Not a people person...but, I had a strong feeling that she was afraid to open up to new people."

"As much as it was hard to bargain...I offered her a deal that I can be her first person to interact with alongside her teammates for now...to see if I can be the convincing one to get her out more. She did hesitantly accepted."

"Unfortunately not much progress has been made as we speak...but hopefully someday...she can either come out to the world to meet the kids...or at least...become friends with me....After all, I can see her being a chill type I could vibe with...If I could figure out why she's isolating herself from others.."

(Relationship: Allies/Friends?)

(This one was definitely fun to do!!! I'm glad you sent in this ask since tbh, I was also thinking about the interactions between the team- LOL)

(Also been sick since the weekend but I am almost better! I have been resting so no worries there! I am almost fully recovered~)

[johanneeee]

Life update

being a 3rd year computer science student is no joke that i forgot about my tumblr. I have been spending most of my money on co working cafes and a lot of coffffeeee! I need help.

been learning a lot about API lately.

I have been learning django, angular, python, and php this sem

I AM NOT OKAY, i want guilt free sleep LOL

I hope i can post more ( ͡ಠ ʖ̯ ͡ಠ)

[kennyisfunky]

@kennyisfunky Tumblr Intro

Hi there! I’m @kennyisfunky (or Kenny). This is my tumblr intro ❄️

Name: Kenny.

Age: 16

Pronouns: He/Xe/Void + any non animal related neos!

Hobbies: Sewing, Cosplay, Crochet, & Coding.

Languages I Speak/Am Learning: English (Native), Mandarin Chinese (HSK2).

Languages I Program In: HTML/Markdown, CSS/LESS/SASS, JS, PHP, C/C++, Python!

Extra Info: AudHD, Chronic Illness & Pain, I also age regress!

Fav Media/People: MLP-EQ & FIM, I’ve been k1lling slimes for 300 years and I’ve maxed out my level, Melanie Martinez, A Silent Voice, FNAF (all games except SB).

Boundaries:

Do NOT do | Okay/Thin Ice | Okay to do | Moots Only

Asking for socials that aren’t tumblr

Asking for my phone number

Drawing me

Asking for commissions (sewing, crochet & coding are all open!)

Asking personal questions

Asking for n00d$

S3ggsulizing me &/or my agere

Making trauma jokes

Venting/Ranting (both pos & neg)

Sharing hyperfixations

[unwelcome-ozian]

Hi guys! Weekly funny… what do get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?

A walkie talkie.

I hope that you are doing well and have a peaceful week ahead.

Take care!

Greetings!

I want to again thank you for sending me the jokes consistently through the weeks. They truly brighten our days.

We’re continuing with ED treatment six days a week. The one day we’re not in treatment the system is trying to catch up on things they have to get done as well as their homework assigned during treatment.

My hope is when we are able to go to PHP five days a week I’ll have a couple of days to work with.

You are very much appreciated.

Here’s my joke:

What did the triangle say to the circle?

You’re pointless.

Hope you have a pleasant week.

Warmly,

Oz/Ozzie

[frags-fragzzzzz]

Last weekend I finally finished the first Ace Attorney game (yet to complete the extra case) with my friend! We literally took years to finish it...

While I play, we make a little joke dub and I read Maya lines so I made this as php for myself.

For longest time, I thought one of Maya sprites was a surprise expression until I looked up closer for this drawing and realized I was wrong.

At first Maya kind annoyed me in some parts, but she grew very much on me. Like your honor, my assistant is just a little silly spirit medium.

[symptoms-syndrome]

Secondly. Therapy talk.

I forget what led up to it, but at one point my therapist (who was doing some big parts/Parts type work that session) asked a part of me what I was protecting, and I said "connections," as in relationships with people. Friendships, etc. When they asked why connections are worth protecting, some part of me just blurted out "they make me happy!" But immediately after that I sort of freaked out a little bit and quickly tried to come up with other things. Connections are a basic human need, they give you things you need like love and support. Very textbook.

My therapist sort of called me out on it. Said that when I said "they make me happy" as the first thing, they could tell I immediately pushed that part aside to say other things. They said we can acknowledge all the parts that said all the things, but they want to make sure that part is heard. I said I felt like I got caught in a trap (not one set by them, of course) or caught doing something wrong.

"They make me happy" being the first thing just feels so selfish to me. But I let that part speak, even if it was hard. I/they said they never really had friends. SpEd programs had a high turnover rate. I never got to make close connections. I was jealous of everyone else who got invited to parties and hung out with their friends. When I sort of had a friend group in highschool (I knew them from a LGBT youth group outside of school, when I got mainstreamed they were the only people I knew, and it was senior year so there wasn't a ton of time to make new friends) they had all these inside jokes with each other, hung out outside of school without me, I remember being particularly jealous that they had a D&D game with all of them that I never even got invited to, and I really really had wanted to play D&D since I learned what it was. I think I might've asked at some point but I'm not sure. They just seemed really happy with each other. They had a lot of fun. And I wanted that really really bad. I was just sort of. Someone they said hi to and knew the name of. If we happened to be in classes together we'd pair up for things. That sort of thing. Not really anything more. I didn't even really hang out at people's houses.

I have friends now, of course. But it's still hard and strange. I don't really know how to navigate any of this. I didn't really get practice making close friendships like everybody else did. It feels like I missed something really big and formative. And I know everyone says high school sucks. But I feel like it's still important, socially. People make close friends in high school. And I kind of missed that. I don't even really remember anyone's names. Then again, I barely remember high school at all. I know about some stuff that happened, but I don't really remember it. It doesn't help that so much of it was a shuffle of PHPs and inpatient stays and SpEd schools. I spent most of my high school in treatment programs.

I don't really remember a lot of the session. But I remember that very strongly. I want friends because they make me happy.